The Story of James "Slim Maybe" Jones
Humanitarian and Animal Lover,
James "Slim Maybe" Jones, made history not once but TWICE, in one day!
James lives in a neighborhood where there are a ALLOT of caged animals.
They range from Dogs, Cats, midget horses, pigs, chickens, and even a few gerbils.
They range from Dogs, Cats, midget horses, pigs, chickens, and even a few gerbils.
According to eye witness and family accounts. One day, while outside looking for aluminum cans and other scrap metals, Slim heard a loud, strange noise.
It was coming from the house of the guy with the HUSKIE DOGS.
Those beautiful creatures with BLUE EYES and soft white fur.
Being the humanitarian that his family claims he is, he went to investigate.
Upon arrival he is met by this man. A local DICK, who treats everything he comes in contact with, like shit. This guy can't even eat a sandwich without punching it, two, three times. Forget chewing, he just swallows it whole so it can suffer all the way down. This guy is the type of man who will beat up an old man, for his pipe...then break the pipe! I mean, well... I digress. 
Ole Slim spots the "Huskie Dogs" in a cage, as if they are being hauled off somewhere.
The cage was small, and the dogs could barely get their noses through the bars to catch a breath of fresh air. James, or "Slim Maybe", had just acquired his concealed carry permit. (This moron has a gun hidden, legally, in his jacket. The rest is predictable, but we will go on.)
He pulls the gun, and shoots the man in knee.
He was aiming for his head, but missed.
According to SLIM, anyway.
(What moron admits to attempted murder.?)
After the local dick hit the ground, James tries to shoot the lock off of the box. Instead he kills one of the dogs, and injures another. He finally got the lock off with a shovel and allot of smashing. Once the door was open James, being the Humanitarian he is, climbs into the cage. Instead of Licks and cuddles, he is greeted by an Injured dog,
and 2 other VERY angry dogs.
(Who knew banging on a cage for 20 minutes and shooting one dog, would make them so agitated.)
A visceral tug of war ensues among the dogs, in the melee one of James arms are ripped off. Two of the dogs stayed behind to chew on the newly found treat, the injured dog went after James, well... His Genitals. Needless to say James requires multiple surgeries to repair the damage. The doctors have said that a gender reassignment would be less hassle, and cheaper for James.
The cage was small, and the dogs could barely get their noses through the bars to catch a breath of fresh air. James, or "Slim Maybe", had just acquired his concealed carry permit. (This moron has a gun hidden, legally, in his jacket. The rest is predictable, but we will go on.)
He pulls the gun, and shoots the man in knee.
He was aiming for his head, but missed.
According to SLIM, anyway.
(What moron admits to attempted murder.?)
After the local dick hit the ground, James tries to shoot the lock off of the box. Instead he kills one of the dogs, and injures another. He finally got the lock off with a shovel and allot of smashing. Once the door was open James, being the Humanitarian he is, climbs into the cage. Instead of Licks and cuddles, he is greeted by an Injured dog,
and 2 other VERY angry dogs.
(Who knew banging on a cage for 20 minutes and shooting one dog, would make them so agitated.)
A visceral tug of war ensues among the dogs, in the melee one of James arms are ripped off. Two of the dogs stayed behind to chew on the newly found treat, the injured dog went after James, well... His Genitals. Needless to say James requires multiple surgeries to repair the damage. The doctors have said that a gender reassignment would be less hassle, and cheaper for James.
James stated, may as well. I'm just a bitch with one arm anyway.
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